A personal story about the Circassian language from Aibek Napso

Today I had the honour to get an article for my blog from Aibek Napso. 
For those who dont know Aibek, he has been working a long time for the Circassian heritage center in Kfar Kama, widely known as the "Circassian museum" throughout the diaspora. 
Aibek among other things reached his popularity with the interviews he made, his most famous interviewees include Aslan Tlebzu and Bibars Natho. 

The best aspect of this allrounder Adige which is most likely to be neglected is his ability to teach the Circassian language in a most perfect manner. 
So today we had another nice conversation which I decided to write down and publish on my blog, simply because this little story may make a big difference some day. Enjoy the read! 

Dear friends,

This is Aibek’s corner and as the first article from me on this blog I would like to start off by telling a personal story.

It happened when I was young, around the age of 18, the age in which we thought that we are men.

At this age you are full of self-confidence and somehow it’s also the age in which you show interest in meeting girls, trying to impress them somehow, showing them “I am the man”.

As a young Circassian man who lives in a foreign country I witnessed many friends going out to clubs, pubs, restaurants to meet girls. That was when I noticed that we are different, that I cannot do such things.

I am Adiga!

I have a different religion, culture, traditions and most importantly a different language.

Its common sense that one of the hard aspects in a relationship is the spoken native language; if you want to communicate you have to speak a language which will be understood by both sides.

That was when I felt like I was struck with a hammer. I said Aibek, the ones who share a native language don’t date or go out with each other.

So I turned to my friends and asked them, guys, how did our ancestors impress the girls?

What would have been their option if they couldn’t speak the language?

Of course, they had something to reply to this.

Aibek, we got the circle of dance at weddings, so you can go ahead and try to impress her with your dance.

That confused me. How can I get to know someone profoundly just by dancing? And what if she is not impressed at all?

So I continued to ask. What will you do after the dance?

Because that is where the good part starts.

After every wedding in the small Circassian villages the girls go somewhere in a closed group and sit and wait for the gentlemen to invite them to sit with them, you know for a conversation in the group.

Four to six guys would sit in the same yard with four or six girls and run the conversation, introduce each other, share funny stories and so on. This way we could find people with whom we “click” and eventually start to go out as a couple.

This is and will be one of the greatest aspects among our traditions, allowing girls and guys to sit together, letting them get to know each other.

So when my friends took me to such a group chat I was happy as a kid of course.

I had the most overwhelming emotions!

Oh my god, they speak my language! They understand me, there is no need to translate anything!

I also noticed that we understood each other so perfectly because we had lot in common. An example for this would be to say something which is related to our Xabza, seeing that everyone understands what I mean and there is no need to explain at all.

So week after week, wedding after wedding me and my friends used to spend all the summer time in the girls’ yards and have fun with them.

But since those happy days the world has changed.

As we are Circassians who live in the Diaspora it is very hard to find each other or talk to each other.

But its not the end of the world.

As the internet progressed in the last 10 years we did progress too, social networks like Facebook, VKontakte, Twitter and others opened a whole new world to us. In fact, it is much easier to find Circassian friends across the world over the internet than it was 10 years ago.

You can find and add them on all the social websites that I mentioned above.

The question now, what are we doing with that?

One of the greatest social tools when it comes to online communication is Skype. We are teaching Adigabze on Skype!

If you went to your parents 10 years ago and told them, “Mom, Dad, I talked with Circassian friends from USA and Jordan” the first thing they would think and say would be “Oh my god, we don’t have the money for calls like that!”

Today that behavior has changed of course.

The idea to gather Circassians from the Diaspora and make a Circassian language class is more than just another ordinary lesson on skype.

First benefit is that Circassians from the Diaspora gather and have the chance to meet and make new friends. The second benefit is that we teach and learn our language, a language that we all can understand and speak with each other.

As I mentioned before, we need a common language to communicate.

This Skype project can lead to more projects, not only concerning language; it can become international and eventually build a strong social network among Circassians.